I have an interview tomorrow at 11am.

You know, the people that are interviewing me tomorrow might actually be reading this; because I did put this site on my application and all, so it’s not that unlikely. Which means that…

well. I don’t know what that means. I don’t really care if they see what I wrote, because it’s not like I don’t want them to see or whatever— I write here because I want to write and I don’t have other places to do so (Docs gets messy after 30 new “Untitled Documents” and having one collective Doc of daily entries would just be a pain to scroll through).

About the interview: I’m not too nervous about it, really. My goal is to be honest. I feel like if I put on a mask of this ideal, plastic shell of a person and get into the school, then that school isn’t a place I want to be in. It wouldn’t be fair to the school, myself, or my peers.

So they either like me or not; they either see something in me or don’t. Of course I’ll try my hardest to get them to find that something, that’s the whole point of interviews, but overall I’m planning to try my hardest and if it doesn’t work out I’ll learn from my mistakes and try again next year.

There’s something brilliant about this school. I’m not only writing this because they might see it— but there is something actually genuinely amazing about that school. I can almost feel it every time I go; how different it is from my environment now, how many new opportunities there are, how diverse the student body is.

I feel like schools are like an interview too. You either like em or you don’t. They try their hardest to show you that something when you visit or read about them, but if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.

It’s a mutual interest, I guess— but they have to do the interview with us first, and then they interview us. There’s actually no power difference here; I would not be interviewed if I didn’t see something in the school and the school won’t accept me unless they didn’t see something in me and I wouldn’t be accepted if I weren’t interviewed and—

You get the point.

That’s why I’m not nervous. The school displays itself to hundreds of possible students daily, and they are never nervous because they know someone will see something and apply, no matter how much chance that person has of getting in. It’s the same for me. I display myself to hundreds of possible employers daily, and so I’m never nervous because I know someone will see potential in me; I know some people that already have.

But still, I really do want to get into this school. Perhaps that’s the difference in “power”, or what causes the almost one-sided desperation when it comes to applications: want. It’s not like schools want every student, but every student wants the school.

So I’ll just have to make them want me.

Hm.