because, to you, there is no substance
in unspoken walks. you prefer loud bass,
tactile hands, giggles, laughs. you prefer
someone you know. you prefer someone
who doesn’t know you. you prefer anyone.
you prefer anyone.

stare at the mirror. call each other the same.
stare at the mirror. punch yourself.
stare at the mirror. blood and cracked face.
stare at the mirror.

be shocked by what you know. be shocked
by what I know. expect it nine days ago be
shocked when it’s true. be shocked with confirmation.
long nights. panic. short mornings. quiet sun.
distant sky. the clouds form a pattern. i can’t stop
thinking. we don’t talk anymore.

singing down the road, two backpacks over
my shoulder, spine bent, fetal, fatal, noose-shaped,
yearning for a neck; singing down the road,
ticking watch in my pocket, waiting. waiting.
singing down the road, jacket covering
nothing, :

lalalonesome. lalalonesome.